Quote by Doug Stanhope:

I think about suicide every fucking day of my life and I think the only thing stopping me is the lack of a perfect idea.


Quotes by other comedians

At this point in time, that's like saying you're not 'into the phone.'

It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.

That's why you have to like a guy like Charles Manson. Say what you will about Manson - he's one of the only people with the decency to look like a dangerous maniac the first time you meet him.