Quote by Doug Stanhope:

That's why cocaine is illegal - it makes pussy too easy to get.


Quotes by other comedians

I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America.

Nothing is going to stop Mike Tyson that doesn't have a motor attached.

I don't like horror movies because I'm squeamish. But I go because my ex's like to go. They like to pull for the antichrist.