Quote by Emo Philips:


When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!" One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees, grass, flowers, the sun... that was nice...

Comedian
Short bio
Emo Philips is an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice actor, writer and producer. His stand-up comedy persona makes use of paraprosdokians spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice.

All quotes by Emo Philips

Quotes by other comedians

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

What's happening is there's a warm front of Mexicans that are humping their way north to the point where you'll be up in Canada one of these years, walking around, you'll be like: 'Hey look, Eskimos! They came down.' Those aren't Eskimos - they're Meximos: Mexicans in parkas, trying to have sex with Canadian women.

People wrestle alligators but not once has someone done it without an audience.