Listen, Pocahontas, unless you put your ear to the ground, you'll never hear the buffalo comin'!
Quote by Jim Carrey:
Quotes by other comedians
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.
I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."
I'm thinking of switching banks, and my friend said, 'Well, what's wrong with Citibank?' Well, they can't spell 'city.' I hope their math is better than their English is.
You know, I've always wanted to be a young Charles Kuralt. I started in this business with just a Winnebago and a dream.