Quote by Eugene Mirman:

You just can't make up random information and say it sarcastically and have it make sense. You can't just be like, 'I went out on a date with a Jewish girl. She was more rude than a wolfcat - an animal I've made up and decided is rude.'

Short bio
Eugene Boris Mirman is a Russian-American comedian and writer known for playing Yvgeny Mirminsky on Delocated and Gene Belcher on the animated comedy Bob's Burgers.

All quotes by Eugene Mirman

Quotes by other comedians

I'm not graceful either. I have no rhythm, I'm never on top.

Nobody ever had to tell you it's wrong to kill your mama. Somehow you born innately knowin' that. Which means you born knowin' right and wrong so put the book down. Cause it will fuck you up.

If you want somebody to repair your roads, educate your kids, or purify your water supply, you may want to turn to private enterprise, but if you want massive fuckloads of your enemies wiped out in record time, Uncle Sam is the man for you.