Quote by Eugene Mirman:

You are an alchemist who can turn six beers into an awkward three week relationship.

Short bio
Eugene Boris Mirman is a Russian-American comedian and writer known for playing Yvgeny Mirminsky on Delocated and Gene Belcher on the animated comedy Bob's Burgers.

All quotes by Eugene Mirman

Quotes by other comedians

Thanksgiving is the day you don't know if you're invited for dinner or an intervention either way is going to be an ambush.

They say rather than cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. They don't mention anything about cursing a lack of candles.

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.