Quote by Eugene Mirman:


There's this billboard in my neighborhood, and it says, 'Don't leave a baby anywhere,' which is true. I imagine the first rule of baby is to not leave it in the street. Don't even leave it with a knife or a sword - even Excalibur.

Comedian
Short bio
Eugene Boris Mirman is a Russian-American comedian and writer known for playing Yvgeny Mirminsky on Delocated and Gene Belcher on the animated comedy Bob's Burgers.

All quotes by Eugene Mirman

Quotes by other comedians

Sadly, the worst audience I ever had were my parents.

All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.

Oh, Captain Clever! Rattle it, if it doesn't go off it can't be a bomb!