You know how sometimes when you're drunk you say something you sort of regret... to Ace Frehley?
Quote by Eugene Mirman:
Quotes by other comedians
Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq.
My car broke down this morning before I did.
Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.