Quote by Felipe Esparza:

I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought a television home. I said, 'Damn, that TV has 500 channels.' When I got older, it didn't have 500 channels - it was a knob from the oven. My favorite channel was 300 degrees.

Comedian
Short bio
Felipe Esparza is a Mexican-American stand-up comedian and actor. He began performing stand-up in 1994. He won Last Comic Standing in 2010. Esparza has hosted a weekly podcast called What's Up Fool? since 2014.

All quotes by Felipe Esparza

Quotes by other comedians

All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.

I also say that if there isn't a response to what's been happening to the people out there, there's going to be a great explosion one of these days, and this will not be one of the nicest places to live.

I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.