Quote by Felipe Esparza:

I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body - this is a tell nobody.

Comedian
Short bio
Felipe Esparza is a Mexican-American stand-up comedian and actor. He began performing stand-up in 1994. He won Last Comic Standing in 2010. Esparza has hosted a weekly podcast called What's Up Fool? since 2014.

All quotes by Felipe Esparza

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My gran used to say, "here’s five dollars and don’t tell your mother that I’m giving this to you". I said, "it will cost you more than that".

Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.

In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

At least gays don’t kill babies before their due date.

I understand if you want to stay home and watch me on YouTube, but it’s like incest - you’re putting convenience over quality.