If you have a fat brother or sister you might be American.
Quote by Felipe Esparza:
Quotes by other comedians
Don't you love it when people in school are like, "I'm a bad test taker"? You mean, you're stupid.
I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate... eh... spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
That show 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' has been getting a lot of ratings. People love that show. That's a great idea for a show. You get four gay guys that try to make a straight guy gayer. That's a good idea for a show. We used to just call that Boy Scout camp.
Went to the beach and I bought ceviche and a boogie board from the same person.
I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If you're going to put clothes on the dog, you should put two pairs of pants on it.