Quote by Felipe Esparza:

If you have a fat brother or sister you might be American.

Comedian
Short bio
Felipe Esparza is a Mexican-American stand-up comedian and actor. He began performing stand-up in 1994. He won Last Comic Standing in 2010. Esparza has hosted a weekly podcast called What's Up Fool? since 2014.

All quotes by Felipe Esparza

Quotes by other comedians

Don't you love it when people in school are like, "I'm a bad test taker"? You mean, you're stupid.

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate... eh... spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

That show 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' has been getting a lot of ratings. People love that show. That's a great idea for a show. You get four gay guys that try to make a straight guy gayer. That's a good idea for a show. We used to just call that Boy Scout camp.

Went to the beach and I bought ceviche and a boogie board from the same person.

I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If you're going to put clothes on the dog, you should put two pairs of pants on it.