Will somebody get the knife and fork out of my leg, please? Can somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees?
Quote by Flight of the Conchords:
Quotes by other comedians
I do something about the weather. I stay home.
What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
When you lie about your age, the terrorists win.
Price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. That's Vagiclean. We've got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.