I love President Bush. I think it's great we have a president who always looks like he's looking directly into the sun.
Quote by Frank Caliendo:
Quotes by other comedians
Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
The reason I like to watch stuff about the Civil War is because I believe that I was in the Civil War. I went to a clairvoyant and she told me in a past life, she goes "You were in the Civil War." And I said I feel this. Because when I watch programs about the Civil War, sometimes, I feel like I know people. I'm like "There's James!" "Lloyd! I would know you, you fangle-tooth motherfucker! Go build that railroad."
Well, my brother says "hello"! So, hooray for speech therapy.
Boys and girls, maybe you should stay in the house if you're having trouble with the phrases 'hot' and 'tasty.'
When you're in your 20s and 30s and you drop some weight, people notice, they're nice about it. They're like, 'Hey man, you look good!' But when you're in your 40s and you lose weight, people are like, 'You doin' all right?'