Quote by Gabriel Iglesias:

Now I understand why people do drugs, why people drink, and why people go crazy. As the success level goes up and up and up, the further detached I get from everybody else. Luckily, with my girlfriend, everything is gravy because I brought her into it. I brought her in and she's very hands on with my career.

Comedian
Short bio
Gabriel Jesus Iglecias, known professionally as Gabriel Iglesias or Fluffy, is an American comedian and actor. He is known for his shows I'm Not Fat… I'm Fluffy and Hot & Fluffy.

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I try to live in the moment but other people ruin it.

Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”

I hate you, Google. You've caused a lot of problems in my relationship. I share a computer with my girlfriend and she would look up anything. "I'm going to look up apples today." She just hits 'A.' It's "Asian ass porn" instantly. Google is, like, "I'll take it from here. I know exactly what you're looking up... Well, every time you hit 'A,' it's 'Asian ass porn.'" Google! All I ask is that you let her type three letters before you jump to such a bold conclusion. It's bad enough that I'm clearing my history every three hours and changing my passwords. I'm trying to have an honest relationship, and you are fucking my shit up!

Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys - either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.