I’m not fat. It’s just my awesomeness swelling up inside of me.
Quote by Gabriel Iglesias:
Quotes by other comedians
We're the greatest country on Earth except when it comes to getting shit done.
My father was a small claims court jester.
The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.
If you suspect your baby may be a problem drinker, please call my cell phone because he sounds fun to hang out with.