Quote by Gary Gulman:

Oreo, have you been reading my diary? Because this has been a fantasy of mine for some time.

Comedian
Short bio
Gary Lewis Gulman is an American stand-up comedian. He was a finalist on the NBC reality-talent show Last Comic Standing in its second and third seasons. He released his first CD, Conversations With Inanimate Objects in 2005, and his first television special Gary Gulman: Boyish Man the following year.

All quotes by Gary Gulman

Quotes by other comedians

Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.

My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She’s always eating chocolate, and she likes to joke she’s got a chocolate addiction. "Get me away from those Hersheys bars. I’m addicted to them." It’s really annoying. So I put her in a car and I drove her downtown. And I pointed out a crack addict. And I said, "Do you see that, honey?... Why can’t you be that skinny?"

I bullshit on the phone all day with a variety of people discussing various projects, and occasionally write jokes.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.