Quote by Gary Gulman:

Where can I find a Big Bird t-shirt, a disco ball and a 14-inch dildo? Spencer’s Gifts.

Comedian
Short bio
Gary Lewis Gulman is an American stand-up comedian. He was a finalist on the NBC reality-talent show Last Comic Standing in its second and third seasons. He released his first CD, Conversations With Inanimate Objects in 2005, and his first television special Gary Gulman: Boyish Man the following year.

All quotes by Gary Gulman

Quotes by other comedians

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

I was driving in Manhattan. There's traffic, nobody's moving... The guy behind me is honking just at me. He kept yelling at me. I decided that I'm gonna argue with this guy, but I'm gonna argue about something else. I'm not having his argument; I'm having mine. So, he's like, 'Go!' And I go, 'Well give me back my jacket!' And he stopped. I was like, 'Yeah, you got my jacket! Give it back! I said you could borrow it, not have it! You're stretching it out, you fat pig! Give it back, now!' He got back in his car, and he locked his doors.

The CMT folks, there was a genuine enthusiasm that I've never had in television before on the executive side.

I have so much on my mind yet so little to say.

Pardon me I've got nothing to say.