Quote by George Lopez:

If you had a personal trainer, you would probably eat him. I know that in every fat person, there's a skinny person inside, but you could have all the season's contestants of America's Next Top Model in you. I hope I get reincarnated as your feet. That way, you'd never see my face again... Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted you. Because in my country, cows are sacred.

Comedian
Short bio
George Edward Lopez is an American comedian and actor. He is known for starring in his self-produced ABC sitcom. His stand-up comedy examines race and ethnic relations, including Mexican American culture.

All quotes by George Lopez

Quotes by other comedians

You might be a redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.

Zsa Zsa Gabor, the only woman ever to apply for group alimony. Never got a dinner!

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Models talk to you for six minutes and they're very nice and they say thank you and then it's off to the larger European men they actually have sex with.