If you had a personal trainer, you would probably eat him. I know that in every fat person, there's a skinny person inside, but you could have all the season's contestants of America's Next Top Model in you. I hope I get reincarnated as your feet. That way, you'd never see my face again... Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted you. Because in my country, cows are sacred.
Quote by George Lopez:
Quotes by other comedians
You can never do jokes about somebody dying! Its disrespectful! How would you feel if you died?
You have to have some level of attachment, you can still have passion and believe but it has to be softened somewhat.
55% of all Americans lose their remote control 5 times a week. That means that they must see the same show for up to 3-4 minutes a time!
You don't run into ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends when you're looking good and want to. Last time I ran into an ex-boyfriend was at three o'clock in the morning at Rite Aid, as I'm ringing up Gas X and corn removers. And I'm like, 'Hey, you. What's up? These are for my grandmother, that old bitch.' He's like, 'Aren't they both dead?' I'm like, 'One of them came back, OK? And she's sick.'
My family wasn't the Brady Bunch. They were the Broody Bunch.