Y'know, if those pews reclined and the priests gave the Raiders scores, I'd go to church every Sunday.
Quote by George Lopez:
Quotes by other comedians
Participation trophies are the soul herpes of a generation.
I eat like a kid. I like Chief Boyardee. Their Ravioli, but they have some stuff I've never seen in the real Italian food world. You ever been in a nice Italian restaurant? Hi how are you? Ummm id like to start with a nice bottle of Chanti and a couple of Caesar Salads and umm I'm going to have the Beef a'ronni. And some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the lady.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.