You know how Mexican restaurants always have “border” in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn’t do that to black people: Kunta’s Kitchen or Shackles. They don’t do it to white people. You don’t see the Honkey Grill, the Cracker Barrel…. oh, nevermind.
Quote by George Lopez:
Quotes by other comedians
I ruined my hands in the ring… the referee kept stepping on them.
I bought this thing for my car. You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won't run in front of your car. I installed it backwards by accident. Driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me. Those were the days.
Your father loves you. But, he doesn't like you. His job is to tell you you suck and are worthless so that when you get out there on your own you don't end up sucking worthlessly. He makes you a better man so that one day you will have the strength and character to stand up to him. And give him the finger. But just pray on that day he doesn't have the strength and character to break that finger off. Ow. I thought he was sleeping.