Look, I made a commitment to corn 17 years ago. Sure, I'm a man. I like to go to a barbecue and see beans that I like: baked beans, red beans, black beans, big plump garbanzos. But in the end, I always come home to my sweet, sweet corn.
Quote by George Lopez:
Quotes by other comedians
You might think that’s an exaggeration but believe me, if you leave twin two-year-olds alone in your living room, at some point a cow will be airborne.
I do not know why anyone would host an awards show. No matter how unbelievably well you do at it, the only thing that can happen is you get asked again to host an awards show.
My vanity table is a Black & Decker workbench.
I've learned to control everything. I don't get angry at anything. Somebody can do me wrong. That's life. What good is it to get angry?
Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.