Even with all the mayonnaise in the world, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit.
Quote by Greg Behrendt:
Quotes by other comedians
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
A well-known Huston stripper reportedly twerked so hard that she suffered a miscarriage on stage… Not the punchline. Because in her defense, she did tell everybody, ‘I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly’.
I don't think the Tea Party and Glenn Beck are responsible for one man's mental illness. Jared Lee Loughner, Arizona congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords' alleged assassin, was a psychopath. They didn't even know if the congresswoman was dead or not when they started saying that this was the result of volatile political rhetoric. What the fuck are they talking about? Every logical faction has come out and said that this psycho didn't watch the news, he wasn't a political junkie, he was far beyond that. We have to tone down political rhetoric.