Everybody I know is bizarrely beautifully fucked up in some way.
Quote by Greg Behrendt:
Quotes by other comedians
I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don’t, you know, I can’t worry about whether people get it or not, per se.
My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It’s our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn’t care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.
The worst television is MTV. 'Music Television' - they call it that, they don't even play music. How's that legal? What if everybody did that? 'Hey, thanks for calling New York Pizza.' 'Yeah, give me two large pepperoni pizzas.' 'Oh, we don't sell pizza.' 'What?' 'No, we just have raccoon hats and eye patches. Call a book store if you're hungry.'