Quote by Greg Behrendt:

I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.

Comedian
Short bio
Gregory Behrendt is an American comedian and author. His work as a script consultant to the HBO sitcom Sex and the City paved the way for co-authoring of the New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That into You, later adapted into a film by the same name.

All quotes by Greg Behrendt

Quotes by other comedians

I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

I came from an Italian house. The refrigerator was always full. I never knew you had to buy food. I thought there were food fairies that came at night.

I took a speed reading course and my speed shot up to 43 pages a minute, but my comprehension plummeted.

If I'm a game show host, will someone buy a ticket to see me do standup? To do a dramatic role in a movie?