If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Quote by Greg Behrendt:
Quotes by other comedians
Being your own man does not mean taking advantage of anyone else.
I started out as an impressionist and that`s all about observing - how people move, their voice quality, their attitudes and quirks.
I lost 28 pounds in my divorce... because that's what a soul weighs.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?'