Quote by Greg Fitzsimmons:


I went to the gas station the other day, and the gas station attendant said he was a former porno movie star. And I think he was serious because half through filling the tank, he pulled it out and sprayed it all over the car.

Comedian
Short bio
Gregory Sebastian "Greg" Fitzsimmons is an American stand-up comedian, writer, producer and radio host. He hosted The Greg Fitzsimmons Show on Howard 101 until December 2018.

All quotes by Greg Fitzsimmons

Quotes by other comedians

I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.

Tits always look better in a pink sweater.

If you need a baby that bad, go down to the pound and get one. Not even a baby - go get an old man. There's unwanted people of all ages, pre-made and waiting for you.