Quote by Greg Giraldo:

The reality is I'm not this person with this driving 'get it done' attitude.

Comedian
Short bio
Gregory C. Giraldo was an American stand-up comedian, television personality, and lawyer. He is remembered for his appearances on Comedy Central's televised roast specials, and for his work on that network's television shows Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, and the programming block Stand-Up Nation, the last of which he hosted.

All quotes by Greg Giraldo

Quotes by other comedians

What you have to do is be honest with who you are. Find that thing inside of you that is you and be that. Don't lie and don't perpetrate. I am sick and tired of ugly bitches that wear shirts that say, 'Cutey.'

Every job has parts of it that are a giant pain in the ass - whether you carry a penis or a purse.

They tell us "Rock'n'roll is the devil's music." Well, let's say we know that rock is the devil's music, and we know that it is, for sure … At least he fucking jams! If it's a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the fucking Block … I'm gonna be surfin' on the lake of fire, rockin' out.

Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?

Every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly, and life gets better in an instant.