This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard?
Quote by Greg Giraldo:
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.