Peanut allergies. When did the peanut become the most toxic substance known to man? Have you tried going anywhere near a school with peanut butter? Holy shit! They look at you like you slathered it on your cock and went skipping across the playground!
Quote by Greg Giraldo:
Quotes by other comedians
Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.
I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
I bought a house. I spent $300,000 for it. Now it’s only worth $100,000. But I owe $500,000. I done refinance my house so many times, I don’t even own the gate.