I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.
Quote by Greg Giraldo:
Quotes by other comedians
In Huntington Beach, California, three police instructors lost their jobs after ordering two cadets who were caught smoking to eat cigarette sandwiches as punishment. And of course the tobacco companies are thinking, 'Cigarette sandwiches - what a great idea.'
My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.
Comedy can always be taken the wrong way. If I do a bit that is meant to diffuse racism or sexism, I'm not going to avoid it on the chance that a small portion of the audience might take it the wrong way.
Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, "Oh, he's good."