I didn’t think I was older until I went into an Abercrombie & Fitch and they looked at me like I was walking through a playground with my cock in my hand.
Quote by Greg Giraldo:
Quotes by other comedians
My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.
If you are in here tonight and you have never contemplated suicide... you've never truly been in love. If you're in here tonight and you have never contemplated murder... you've never been divorced.
You are a shit head, but I can make you feel like you’re not the only shit head.