Quote by Greg Giraldo:


I didn’t think I was older until I went into an Abercrombie & Fitch and they looked at me like I was walking through a playground with my cock in my hand.

Comedian
Short bio
Gregory C. Giraldo was an American stand-up comedian, television personality, and lawyer. He is remembered for his appearances on Comedy Central's televised roast specials, and for his work on that network's television shows Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, and the programming block Stand-Up Nation, the last of which he hosted.

All quotes by Greg Giraldo

Quotes by other comedians

My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.

If you are in here tonight and you have never contemplated suicide... you've never truly been in love. If you're in here tonight and you have never contemplated murder... you've never been divorced.

You are a shit head, but I can make you feel like you’re not the only shit head.