Quote by Greg Giraldo:


This friend of mine told me, 'Yeah, I dress this way to attract a guy, but I want to attract the right guy. I don't want to attract every slob on the street.' That's how cleavage works. It's not a smart bomb. It's not a laser-guided weapon. You might hit your target; there's also going to be a lot of collateral damage. You might hit the guy in the Porsche. You're also going to hit the guy with one tooth driving by on the bus.

Comedian
Short bio
Gregory C. Giraldo was an American stand-up comedian, television personality, and lawyer. He is remembered for his appearances on Comedy Central's televised roast specials, and for his work on that network's television shows Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, and the programming block Stand-Up Nation, the last of which he hosted.

All quotes by Greg Giraldo

Quotes by other comedians

Her call to me was a t shirt with a huge picture of me on the corner, monstrous. And under it said Dave. So you wouldn't be confused that this guy was this guy. Exact replica.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.