This friend of mine told me, 'Yeah, I dress this way to attract a guy, but I want to attract the right guy. I don't want to attract every slob on the street.' That's how cleavage works. It's not a smart bomb. It's not a laser-guided weapon. You might hit your target; there's also going to be a lot of collateral damage. You might hit the guy in the Porsche. You're also going to hit the guy with one tooth driving by on the bus.
Quote by Greg Giraldo:
Quotes by other comedians
Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don't have the ability to be lovable.
My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!
I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
Well, everyone, welcome to Shark Week. Oh that's on CBS and there's been a lot of cutbacks, so it's just Friday night for a couple of minutes. And we don't have any sharks, just an immigrant with a puppet. Hey, but it's a start!
The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.