Wine me, dine me, Deep Space Nine me.
Quote by Greg Proops:
Quotes by other comedians
It doesn't have to be that way.
I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.
The only true freedom that you find is when you realize and come to terms with the fact that you are completely and unapologetically fucked. And then you are free to float around the system.
I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, Gee, if only I'd done The Man Who Came to Dinner on Broadway, I would have been happier.
Fifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid if you tell a legitimate joke about it. Sure I doubled the number of feminists who hate me, but I also doubled the number of shows I have on TV. No regrets.