I'm always looking for that place, you know, where there's no rednecks, that place where people get along, and I never find it. I went to Australia, right, and I thought Australia was gonna be a groovy, surfnoid, smoke-a-joint wombat, you know? 'G'day mate!' 'No worries!' And it's like Arkansas with a beach. It's a whole country with a 'No Fat Chicks' sticker on it.
Quote by Greg Proops:
Quotes by other comedians
This relationship is preventing me from becoming everything I can be as a world class masturbator. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
You might be a redneck if your dog passes gas and you claim it.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.
One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.