Quote by Hannibal Buress:

Whenever I eat at a restaurant I never put the napkin in my lap. People say, 'Hannibal, why don't you put the napkin in your lap?' Because I believe in myself. I believe in my ability to not spill food in my pants 'cause I'm a goddamn adult. And I've mastered the art of getting food from my plate to my mouth without messing up my jeans. You need to believe in yourself, too and get your life together, that's for babies. Have some confidence in your eating abilities and hand/eye coordination.

Short bio
Hannibal Amir Buress is an American comedian, actor, writer, and producer. He started performing comedy in 2002 while attending Southern Illinois University. He has co-starred on Adult Swim's The Eric Andre Show since 2012 and was featured on Comedy Central's Broad City from 2014 to 2019.

All quotes by Hannibal Buress

Quotes by other comedians

Christine Todd Whitman had to resign as the head of the EPA; you know, when the governor of New Jersey decides the environment is hopeless, you gotta really think that one through.

Patriotism for the sake of is like choosing sides in a war based on the color of their uniforms.

When a bird gets sucked into an engine they call it "bird strike". It's not bird strike, it's "engine suck"!