I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they’re real.
Quote by Hannibal Buress:
Quotes by other comedians
My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention.
My sister just had a baby. We can have company over. She’ll be in front of everyone with her um… breast… out feeding it. You know… cereal or whatever.
I swear on my unborn child's life i didn't eat your fucking ice cream.
After seven years of marriage, I'm sure of two things - first, never wallpaper together, and second, you'll need two bathrooms... both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.
I'm all about showing people that I'm a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won't grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, 'Life is great.'