Quote by Hannibal Buress:

I know some of you got upset when I called that woman a cunt, but someone steals over a thousand dollars from me I call ‘em what the fuck I want.

Comedian
Short bio
Hannibal Amir Buress is an American comedian, actor, writer, and producer. He started performing comedy in 2002 while attending Southern Illinois University. He has co-starred on Adult Swim's The Eric Andre Show since 2012 and was featured on Comedy Central's Broad City from 2014 to 2019.

All quotes by Hannibal Buress

Quotes by other comedians

I don’t know why great abs are considered attractive. I know they are, but biologically, I don’t know what we’re trying to convey. You see a guy with great abs, you think, ‘wow! That guy could shit really fast.’ I bet women love that.

Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It's the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.

Marijuana brownies are amazing. Very simple to make, too. Just get some Duncan Hines brownie mix and cook the weed right in there. Drop it right in with the butter. I don’t know who came up with this idea first, but it’s sheer genius.

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"

When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.