Quote by Iliza Shlesinger:

Both are salty, one will give me carpal tunnel, I’ll go with the fries.

Short bio
Iliza Vie Shlesinger is an American comedian. She was the 2008 winner of NBC's Last Comic Standing and went on to host the syndicated dating show Excused and the TBS comedy/game show Separation Anxiety. In 2017, she briefly hosted her own late-night talk show called Truth & Iliza on Freeform.

All quotes by Iliza Shlesinger

Quotes by other comedians

You might be a redneck if you've ever taken an RV to a drive-in movie.

Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.

Any time you can match up anatomically to anything in a smut shop it makes you feel pretty proud.

My girlfriend asked me if I only love her for her body. I said no, baby. Just parts of it.