Quote by Iliza Shlesinger:

This isn’t a bra, it’s body armor. And this isn’t make up, it’s war paint.

Short bio
Iliza Vie Shlesinger is an American comedian. She was the 2008 winner of NBC's Last Comic Standing and went on to host the syndicated dating show Excused and the TBS comedy/game show Separation Anxiety. In 2017, she briefly hosted her own late-night talk show called Truth & Iliza on Freeform.

All quotes by Iliza Shlesinger

Quotes by other comedians

My ex-girlfriend, who shall remain nameless – if I’m ever left alone at her tombstone with a sandblaster.

Yeah I've been booed before, but I'll be booed again.

Every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly, and life gets better in an instant.

My first job as a kid was going from door to door selling Christmas cards, to raise money for my grandmother's hip replacement. Because, you know... You break it, you buy it.

At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.