The weekend represents the 48 hours that you have to fuck up the life you worked so hard for all week.
Quote by Iliza Shlesinger:
Quotes by other comedians
The new specialty at the Iowa fair this year is fried butter on a stick. Of course, if you’re like me and you want like to eat healthy, get your stick of butter baked.
They don't want an educated populace capable of critical thought, sitting around the kitchen table realizing how badly they're getting fucked!
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.