Quote by Iliza Shlesinger:

I don't hate other women. Let me rephrase that: I hate other women and men - people in general can be annoying - but I've never disliked a woman for being beautiful.

Comedian
Short bio
Iliza Vie Shlesinger is an American comedian. She was the 2008 winner of NBC's Last Comic Standing and went on to host the syndicated dating show Excused and the TBS comedy/game show Separation Anxiety. In 2017, she briefly hosted her own late-night talk show called Truth & Iliza on Freeform.

All quotes by Iliza Shlesinger

Quotes by other comedians

We are the sum total of our choices...

Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.

My father said, "Bring along your best girl." This is something you say to a pimp!

One time my own father caught me watching a porno movie. The one thing you never wanna hear in that situation is, "son, move over." "And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon…" my eye!

You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company can't explain in one sentence what it does, it's illegal.