I don't hate other women. Let me rephrase that: I hate other women and men - people in general can be annoying - but I've never disliked a woman for being beautiful.
Quote by Iliza Shlesinger:
Quotes by other comedians
We are the sum total of our choices...
Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.
My father said, "Bring along your best girl." This is something you say to a pimp!
One time my own father caught me watching a porno movie. The one thing you never wanna hear in that situation is, "son, move over." "And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon…" my eye!
You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company can't explain in one sentence what it does, it's illegal.