I’m on my version of the protein diet, but there ain’t no protein in it. It’s a Krispy Kreme doughnut between two Cinnabons. And you soak it overnight in Red Bull. Then you chase it with a Snickers.
Quote by JB Smoove:
Quotes by other comedians
When you give to American Throat Cancer or whatever, it's almost like you're trying to buy karma. But you don't feel good about it because you know most of that is going to mailers and buying pink ribbons. When you fucking actually change a life like that, I've never felt better. That's something that, hopefully, I'll be talking about when I'm up there.
You rarely hear anyone use the word "pancreas" in a not-horrible context.
The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.