What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation?
Quote by Jim Carrey:
Quotes by other comedians
I have zero doubt that if Dick Cheney was not in power, people wouldn’t be dying needlessly tomorrow... I’m just saying if he did die, other people, more people would live. That’s a fact.
I always wanted to write as much as perform.
Those times in life when you're terrified are the mastery times.
My family wasn’t very religious. On Hanukkah, they had a menorah on a dimmer.
MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.