Quote by JB Smoove:

The biggest scam I fell for was college. It got me. 'Cause I swear, in high school I was up $40; now I'm down $60,000. All my friends, 'Hey Nore, what was your major?' Bankruptcy, motherfucker.

Comedian
Short bio
Jerry Angelo Brooks, is an American actor, writer, comedian and voice actor. He performs stand-up under the name J. B. Smoove. He started his career off with the television series Def Comedy Jam in 1995. He plays Leon on the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm.

All quotes by J. B. Smoove

Quotes by other comedians

That's right, "tell your mama", "tell your mama", "tell your mama" … nobody tells daddy shit!

I'm constipated, couldn't give a shit.

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

You know how we built the pyramids? You gotta ask yourself a question always flip the script. What if up was down and down was up? What if you looked down into space standing up on Earth? This is how we built the pyramids.

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'