Quote by JB Smoove:

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

Comedian
Short bio
Jerry Angelo Brooks, is an American actor, writer, comedian and voice actor. He performs stand-up under the name J. B. Smoove. He started his career off with the television series Def Comedy Jam in 1995. He plays Leon on the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm.

All quotes by J. B. Smoove

Quotes by other comedians

George Clooney and Fabio apparently got into a scuffle at a restaurant in Los Angeles over the weekend. George thought the women with Fabio were taking pictures of him. How embarrassed is George Clooney to be in a fight with Fabio? Who is he going to call out next, Lorenzo Lamas?

Sometimes American news is like a tired old whore that only tells you things you wanna hear.

Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.

The reason I'm a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other people are saying. A psychologist is a man who listens, who is sympathetic.

If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.