Quote by JB Smoove:

I was a beer boy in a bodega, where I was responsible for keeping the beer cold in the freezer. It was the heyday of Olde English 40 ounces. I also sold fire extinguishers. I used to put my foot in the door when people opened it. I would do a demonstration with newspaper on their dining room table. One time, I had done so many damn demos that my extinguisher didn’t have enough fluid in it after I started the fire. I grabbed the tray, threw it outside in the grass and stomped the fire out. The person was yelling; and I got in my car, leaving all of my equipment, and got the hell up out of there.

Comedian
Short bio
Jerry Angelo Brooks, is an American actor, writer, comedian and voice actor. He performs stand-up under the name J. B. Smoove. He started his career off with the television series Def Comedy Jam in 1995. He plays Leon on the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm.

All quotes by J. B. Smoove

Quotes by other comedians

My son really has the spirit of Valentine’s Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.

Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.

My comedy has no color, it’s for everybody, black, white, Latino, Asian. It’s not a pro-black show, not a def jam show; it’s just straight, wholesome type of humor.

My brother got fired for coming late at a night job. How you oversleep 8:30?

I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut, or get angry from the gut.