Quote by Richard Pryor:

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

Short bio
Richard Franklin Lennox Thomas Pryor was an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. He reached a broad audience with his trenchant observations and storytelling style, and is widely regarded as one of the greatest and most influential stand-up comedians of all time.

All quotes by Richard Pryor

Quotes by other comedians

Change is the law of God's mind and resistance to it is the source of all pain.

If reading makes you smart then how come when you read a book they have to put the title of the book on the top of every single page? Does anyone get halfway through a book, "What the hell am I reading?"

I'm pretty sure whoever said, "people are wonderful" spent very little time with people.

When I was born, I was my parents favorite. But then they seemed to forgot all about me, once they adopted that stupid highway.

Will somebody get the knife and fork out of my leg, please? Can somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees?