In Scotland, there is no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.
Quote by Billy Connolly:
Quotes by other comedians
It's very simple. There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.
Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
The Scots are a very tough people. They have drive-by headbuttings. In Glasgow a sweatband is considered a silencer.
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.