Quote by Bob Newhart:

I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.

Comedian
Short bio
George Robert Newhart is an American stand-up comedian and actor, noted for his deadpan and slightly stammering delivery.

All quotes by Bob Newhart

Quotes by other comedians

We're not allowed to do anything to nature anymore, except look at it. It's like porn with leaves.

Valentines Day is the day we celebrate real love. A love so strong that two hearts become one. And when she's happy, you're happy. And when she's angry, you can still choose to be happy, 'cos, what's her deal ? You know, I'm happy. Why is she bringing me down, you know ? Oh great, now look, I'm getting all mad. I hope she's happy. Happy Valentines Day.

Aristotle said, "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." Isn't that a three-way?

It's fun to be in California. The police are kind of weird here. They ask you stupid questions. 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' Because I have pot in the glove compartment?

Oh, San Francisco! My 3rd favorite place to do comedy in. That's not bad, right? Top ten. More butt-fucking per square foot than any other place in the world, that's you guys. Put that on your postcards. "San Fransisco: More butt-fucking per square foot. Miss you."