Quote by Bob Newhart:

You do a clean show and it's over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you've enjoyed yourself, and you haven't had to resort to shock.

Short bio
George Robert Newhart is an American stand-up comedian and actor, noted for his deadpan and slightly stammering delivery.

All quotes by Bob Newhart

Quotes by other comedians

I don't really judge. To each his own. You like what you like. If you want someone who's big-boned and you like that, ain't nothing wrong with having a little extra meat on there. If you like them thin-boned, then thats okay too.

I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

I saw hamlet at the Globe Theater. Notice I didn't say I heard it. Some asshole with a whooping cough was right behind me. Hey lung chunks, if you're sick, stay the fuck home!

I want you like Anne Frank wanted nobody to read her fucking diary.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.